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WHY this Broken Mama Blog

The idea for this blog began to germinate soon after attaining guardianship of a sweet baby girl. Our now two-year-old spitfire officially became a Gardiner on January 6, 2017.

What a precious day that was!

We call her “Beezy.”

She’s a small medium package (her bio mom is 6 feet tall) of pure love and defiance. She has turned our world upside down in a BIG way. Our hearts, stretched in imaginable ways. Our minds missing a few more brain cells.

But God is so good, and certainly knows better what we need in our lives than we do.


I wish I could say the road to adoption was flawless, but that would be a lie. It was, and continues to be at times, a journey pocked with soul-devouring lows. Tears, anger, and fear my constant companions. My heart and mind still battle over my new reality-now a mother of five-a life changer I never saw coming.

I’m not a young mom anymore.

Natural, silver strands grace my hair, an endless source of amusement to my children. My body creaks, my mind forgets, and my desire to “start over,” NONEXISTENT. Not to mention that my baby was eleven years old before Beezy came along.

For years, my husband and I had been checking off a mental checklist of things we never had to do again. Who doesn’t love:

  • Sleeping all night
  • Kiddos who can wipe their own butt 
  • Eating dinner without having to cut up someone’s food just to clean it off the floor five minutes later.

I know all y’all know what I’m talking about. (And nope, I’m not from the south. My Georgia missionary is rubbing off on me!)

Starting over was the LAST thing I wanted to do.

My selfish nature kicked into high gear. My resistance super charged with nothing but negative thoughts and feelings.

What was this little miracle going to cost me mentally, emotionally, and physically?

Was I capable of raising another child?

Did I even want to?

Reasonable questions that no one had answers for…except me.

This brings me to my “WHY.” Why this Broken Mama blog you ask? Let me tell ya…

Because adoption has broken me in all the right places!

In places I needed growth the most.

  1. It has cracked a hole in my tendency to first be selfish.
  2. It has fractured my thoughts of not being good enough.
  3. It has crippled my resolve to be average and small in thinking and action.
  4. It has discouraged, crushed, and humbled me as I’ve fought my way back to my mother roots.
  5. It has split my heart wide open to awaken a deep strength and determination I didn’t know existed.
  6. Most gracious of all, adoption has shattered any notion that this world is all about and for me.

For all that and more to come, I’m ecstatic to connect with all you amazing moms who are also living this bruising, beautiful-brokenness I like to call MOTHERHOOD.

Whether you’re a new, older, single, adoptive, foster, Mr. Mom (don’t let the smattering of pink get to you, you’re better than that), or a woman who mothers-others-kind-of-mom, this blog is for you.

Together we can traverse this journey with our heads bowed to the One who makes it all possible. Embracing those sweet-smelling babes, hair-pulling toddlers, silly-adventurous kiddos, sassy-soul-sucking teens (yep, I went there), and even those know it all young adults forever in our arms. May our feet be quick to move us toward improvement and growth. Nurturing of ourselves as we evolve into the mothers we most desire to be.

Strap in tight. It’s going to be one doozy of a ride!

Stay tuned for our adoption story. Coming soon in an Ebook just for you!

Let’s tidy up…

Now that you know my “why” for creating this blog, I want to know your “why” for being here. Don’t be shy, give it to me straight.

What can this Broken Mama blog help you with today? I truly want to know.

Message me: contact{at} or leave a comment. 

To get the most from this site, I encourage you to sign up for free updates. If you have a “Mom Story” (man, I like quotation marks), you would like me to consider sharing, click SHARE YOUR STORY

I promise to take a look-see and get back to you if your story is accepted for publication.


2 Replies

  1. Anonymous

    The layout of this blog looks so beautiful and fun to follow. I’m so excited to read and learn all of the content yet to come. Looking forward to being part of this group and community. Excellent work, Tanya!

    1. Tanya Gardiner

      Thank you so much for your positive words. So happy you’ve joined the Broken Mama community. I look forward to sharing more with you. Have a blessed day!

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